Alone on Christmas
by Jamison Colleen
Summary: Nobody Should Be Alone on Christmas...short lil SV piece
1. Default Chapter

Authors Note: Just a little S/V fluff that came to me while I was in the shower. I hope you all enjoy, and I also wish you all a very Merry Christmas! :o)

  
  


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This is what they call the epitome of torture.

  
  


I'm wedged in between my wife and her obnoxious sister on Christmas Eve, drinking Egg Nog. And let me tell ya, too much of that stuff can really hit you the wrong way, this I notice as I once again shift uncomfortably in my seat. I'm sitting there praying for way to escape this torment, when suddenly my cell phone rings.

  
  


"Thank God," I mumble under my breath hoping Lauren and Christine didn't hear.

  
  


"Sorry ladies, but I have to take this," I say as I get up and move into the kitchen.

  
  


"Vaughn."

  
  


"Hey man," Weiss' voice greets me.

  
  


"How are things in Wisconsin?" I ask knowing that Eric is up there visiting family.

  
  


"Eh, they're alright. But the reason I called is if you could do me a huge favor?"

  
  


"Depending on the favor..." I say, knowing that last time I agreed to do a favor for Eric he had me mowing his lawn for a month.

  
  


"It's nothin' like last time. My sister was talking about how outrageous her heating bill was, and it made me stop and wonder if I had turned my heat off when I left."

  
  


"Okay..." I said wondering where this was going, but knowing Eric it had something to do with me paying his electric bill for him.

  
  


"I was wondering if you could run over to my house and check to make sure it's off."

  
  


"Eric, it's quarter 'til eleven."

  
  


"I know, I know, I'd really appreciate it though."

  
  


"Why didn't you call Syd? I mean she is your neighbor."

  
  


"Actually I tried, but there was no answer. I'm kinda worried about her. I mean this is her first holiday back and she has no one to spend it with."

  
  


I stop and think for a second. Francie's dead, Will's in witness protection, Eric is out of town, Jack is out of the country on assignment, and me? Well I'm here.

  
  


"Vaughn? Man, are you there?"

  
  


I quickly return from my trance like state, "Yeah, sorry. Sure I'll check things out, it'll get me away from these two for awhile."

  
  


"Having fun?"

  
  


"Something like that."

  
  


"Thanks a ton Mike, but I gotta head out. I'll see you in a couple of days."

  
  


"See ya."

  
  


I walk back into the living room, where Lauren and Christine were busy gossiping about anything and everything.

  
  


"Who was that?" Lauren asks me, as Christine makes a face, she's never really liked me much, and quite honestly, I've never really liked her much either.

  
  


"Eric."

  
  


"What on earth did he want at this hour?" Lauren asks, now she's the one to make a face, I think she believes that Eric is a bad influence on me.

  
  


"He just asked if I could run over to his house and make sure his heat isn't still on. He doesn't want to come home to face a ridiculously high electric bill."

  
  


"He left three days ago, and he's just realizing this now?" Lauren eyes me suspiciously.

  
  


"Yes, as a matter of fact he did. He and his sister were talking about her last electric bill and it made him think that he might've left his heat on," I was practically fuming that she would think I was lying to her, even though I have had a tendency to do that in the past, but that's beside the point.

  
  


"Sounds fishy to me," Christine grumbles as she examines her perfectly manicured nails.

  
  


"Doesn't Sydney Bristow live next door to him?"

  
  


Christine's eyebrows raise up, and it takes all my restraint not to pull them off as I offer a cautious, "Yes."

  
  


"Well then, why can't she do it?"

  
  


"Eric tried, but there was no answer."

  
  


"Oh, so she's not home."

  
  


I nod my head. Even though I know full well that she is home...alone. Sitting there with no one, and it breaks my heart.

  
  


"Well," Lauren says a relief floods her face, "Just don't be too long then, dear."

  
  


I manage a stiff nod, as I grab my coat and keys, and head out the door. Before the door is closed I hear the muffled voice of Christine ask, "Sydney Bristow...is that the girl you were telling me about?"

  
  


I sigh as I head out to my car. It bothers me how jealous Lauren is of Sydney. I mean, I'm married to her not Syd. I can see Syd's jealousy, as far as she knows it, we were an item just a few short months ago. But then again, I can't be naive to the fact that Lauren is blind of everything. Of course she sees the passing glances, the looks of longing and regret. And of course she notices the tightness of our kisses or the coldness of our embraces. But it bothers me none-the-less. It bothers the hell out me, Lauren has no right to be jealous of Syd. Lauren got exactly what she wanted, Syd was left out in the cold, and now here she is all alone on Christmas.

  
  


I pound my fist hard on the steering wheel causing a loud honk to emerge. A blush forms around my cheeks, and I'm glad that I'm the only one on the road. "Other people are at home enjoying themselves," I mumble.

  
  


But quite honestly, I'm glad to be away from Christine and Lauren. Christine brings out the worst in Lauren, she changes into an entirely different person, one that I definitely don't want to spend time around, and as luck would have it, the Lauren without Christine isn't much better.

  
  


I pull into Eric's development as I think about Lauren. I don't think it's any surprise that we're not the happy couple we might seem on the outside. Inside we're struggling to keep things together, and I often wonder, that if maybe I hadn't needed someone so desperately, or if I had some shred of hope that Syd was alive, that it all wouldn't have turned out this way.

  
  


I park my car, but sit in the silence for a moment, enjoying the quiet, and aloneness, a rarity these days.

  
  


I finally get out of my car and head up the stairs to Eric's apartment. I fumble with my keys until I find his and unlock the door. I step inside, seeing my breathe. "Well I guess that answers the question if he cut off the heat."

  
  


I'm about to leave, when something begins to tug at my stomach. I turn to the key rack, and see a key that says 'Syd' on it. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't resist. Plus no one should be alone on Christmas.

  
  


I cradle the key in my hand and head next door to Syd's apartment. I know that if I sneak in, she'll kill me. But something tells me that it's okay, and I at this moment it's what I want to do more than anything.

  
  


I slip the key in the lock, and slowly turn. I hear it click. I press myself up against the door, and slowly turn the nob, revealing a dimly lit room.

  
  


I quietly step inside, and look around, Syd is no where to be found. I guess maybe she did decide to get away after all. It's at that very moment that I notice a half drunk bottle of wine on the dining room table. Seeing that breaks my heart, part of me hoped that she had gotten away, and wasn't sitting here alone.

  
  


Looking at her house you wouldn't have any idea that Christmas was in, well, half an hour, according to my watch. Even Eric who wasn't in town had cheesy decorations around and about. But not Sydney. There's not even a Christmas card displayed on the mantel.

  
  


I move further into the house, but stop when I hear a sound from the bathroom. The door is partially open, and from my angle I'm able to get a small view. Sydney is in the tub surrounded by about a dozen tiny candles, a glass of red wine next to the tub is just about empty. I look at Sydney, bubbles cover her, leaving all to the imagination, or for me, my memories. I squint to get a better look at her face, which is hard in the dim light. What isn't hard is to see is the fact that she's been crying. I wouldn't even need to see her face to know this, it's just something that I know.

  
  


It takes every ounce of my restraint to keep me from rushing in there, taking her in my arms, showering her with kisses, all the while telling her that everything is alright.

  
  


I know I can't do exactly that, but I can do the next best thing.

  
  


I sneak back to the kitchen, I find a pen and a piece of paper, I jot down a few simple, yet meaningful words, and leave the paper next to the wine bottle. I know that she'll be back for more, an occasion like this doesn't warrant an only have drunk bottle.

  
  


I silently exit her house, and return the key back to the rack on Eric's wall. I head off to my car, but before I leave I sit there, wearing the first true smile I've had in a long time. Hoping that my note can do the same for her, and with that I drive off to whatever is awaiting me at home, knowing that with a slight glimmer of hope, I can handle anything.

  
  


****************************

I jolt out of my bath at the sound of my door closing, or at least I think I heard it close.

  
  


I rub my temples, cursing myself for all the wine I've had throughout the day. I do decide that my bath water has gotten a little too cold, so I exit, and wrap a big, soft, terry cloth robe around me.

  
  


I head out of the bathroom, displaying some level of caution. I enter the main room, noticing that everything seems to be in place. I must've been hearing things again.

  
  


I'm just about to blow out my candles and head off to bed, realizing that I've already had enough wine this evening, and I can save the rest for what appears to be another glorious day tomorrow. But something catches my eye. Not something shiny, or anything like that. But just a small piece of paper near my wine bottle. Being the spy that I am, I know that paper wasn't there when I headed off to my bath.

  
  


I slowly head over to the table, the fact that someone has been in my house troubles me. On a normal day, I would've automatically shrugged it off as Weiss, but he's in Wisconsin.

  
  


"Maybe it was Santa Claus," I say out loud. This amuses me greatly, and I nearly double over in laughter. "Alright Sydney, that's definitely enough wine for you."

  
  


I pick up the piece of paper, and make out the words.

  
  


-No one should have to be alone on Christmas, and I promise you that you will never have to be again.-

With all my heart and soul,

Your Guardian Angel

  
  


Tears glisten in my eyes, as I read and re-read that simple sentence again and again, knowing that this vow of hope is all I could've ever asked for, I manage to get out despite my tears:

  
  


"Wow, I guess he really does exist."

  
  
  
  


Authors Note: I hope you guys enjoyed! I thought about adding on to it, but this just seemed about right, let me know what you think though!

  
  



	2. Stress of the Season

Authors Note: It's been a while, but do to some convincing on the boards I have decided to update this thing. More soon!

Disclaimer: Don't own nothing'!

**Chapter 2**

It's been almost two months, and no mention of the note. I know it has to be that way, and I know that the passing glances during our debriefings are mention enough, but I just can't help wanting more.

I keep it with me constantly. I glance around and gingerly take it out of the folds of my wallet. The edges are bent, there's a little rip at the top right hand corner, and it's starting to collect dirt…but I swear I've never seen anything that has meant so much to me in my entire life…well, except for him.

I've noticed him more lately, not that I didn't before. But I notice the way he carries himself and the way that he always looks tired. I know it has to do with his marriage. And inside I want to do a little dance and hope for my victory…but I can't. It hurts me to see him hurting, and I just keep hoping that things will get better.

I tuck the note back in my wallet as I see Weiss approaching, and plaster on a big grin.

"Hey there Syd."

"Hey Weiss. What's up?"

"I just wanted to show you the pictures from Wisconsin."

"You just got them back!"

"Yeah…so I'm lazy, doesn't make me a bad person." We both share a laugh as he starts to show me his family.

"Is that your nephew?" I ask, pointing to a little boy.

"Yep, that's Stephen alright…little monster."

We finish up with the pictures and Weiss studies me for a moment. "Something's different about you, Syd."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure. I can't place my finger on it. It's like you seem lighter. Like when you walk, it almost seems like you're floating."

I chuckle. "Must be my new shoes."

Weiss grins, "I guess that's it."

I look at him seriously, and ask him what's been on my mind for months, "How's Vaughn doing."

Weiss' smile disappears. "I don't know Syd. I really don't. Trust me, I've noticed too. I had a feeling things weren't going well with Lauren, but it seems like he's been even more preoccupied than usual."

I nod. "Maybe the stress of the season."

Weiss looks at me quizzically.

"Well, you know all of the family time is stressful around the holidays. And then coming back from work after time off and having to catch up on things."

"Yeah, I guess it could just be that." We look around the room and see Vaughn staring off into space at his desk, and we both know that it's not the 'stress of the season.'

"Well, I've got to go finish typing up a report. You wanna come over and help me put away a pizza tonight?"

I laugh. "I don't think you need any help with that. But sure, I'll be over around 7."

Weiss smiles and walks back to his desk.

I glance over at Vaughn and the smile disappears from my lips. He looks so unhappy. I just don't understand why he won't end things if he's that miserable.

I sigh and get back to work. It really isn't any of my business anyways.

The day drags on with endless amounts of paperwork until I'm finally given the go ahead to go on home.

The first thing I do once I walk into my apartment is strip down and take a nice long bath. It's the greatest way to unwind and relax. The warm water seeps into my pores as a content sigh escapes my lips. I could stay here forever…well, only if I had a warm body to keep me company…

I shake the image out of my head. Not that it's a bad image by any means. It just makes me all warm and tingly for a minute, and then depresses me. Stupid emotions.

I emerge from the bath feeling a bit better, but not as good as I'd like to be. Hopefully Weiss can take care of that.

I go to the phone book to look up pizza delivery places. I decide that since this is a regular occurrence I should supply the pizza every now and then. I'm just about to phone in my order when the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey Syd."

"Hey there Weiss. You must be psychic. I was just about to phone in our order."

"About that…"

"You aren't canceling on me are you?"

Weiss pauses, "Well, actually yes."

"Really?"

"Syd, I'm so sorry. You know I would never cancel on you. But, it's just that Mike called, and he sounded real depressed. And I thought we'd talk and then I'd get him really drunk."

Even though the situation isn't a laughing matter I do chuckle. Weiss always manages getting alcohol in the equation.

"Alright, you guys have a good night."

"You're more than welcome to join us."

I respond without hesitation. "Nah, this should be guy's night."

"You're the best Syd. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"I know you will."

"Later Syd."

"Bye Weiss."

I look around the kitchen trying to find some motivation as to what to do, and then it hits me…TEQUILA AND ICE CREAM!

I'm almost done with the tequila, halfway through Casablanca, and almost done with my ice cream when an idea hits me.

I get up…a little too quickly, and grab the couch for balance. Once the room stops spinning I walk to the kitchen and pull out a pen and a piece of paper.

I sit there debating what to write when my common sense kicks in. I can write Vaughn a note.

I sigh, turn the TV off, and put up the ice cream and crawl into bed. About 4am I wake up with an awful headache.

I get out of bed and mutter to myself, and deciding that I need some air I make my way outside. It only takes me a minute to realize I'm not alone.

"Syd?"

"Hi, Vaughn." There was an awkward pause. "Umm…I'm sorry…did you want to be alone?"

"No, no. Just needed some air."

I nod. More silence.

"Syd, I…"

I interrupt, "Vaughn don't."

"But I want to. I need to talk to you."

I smile as tears form in my eyes. "You know we can't do that. Not now anyways."

Vaughn smiles sadly and nods. He knows that he can't pursue anything with me until things are over with Lauren…if they're ever over.

Our eyes meet, and he leans in and brushes his lips on my forehead. I hold back tears as he heads back into Weiss' apartment. Once I'm sure he's in there I go into my own and let the tears flow.

I silently sob, and curse my luck. After a few moments of rocking back and forth on my floor I pull myself together. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep pitying myself. Especially when I know it's not easy on Vaughn either.

Suddenly the idea I had earlier seems like a good one. I head back to the kitchen and finish what I started.

I wake up, and silently make my way out of Weiss' apartment. I need to get home and change. I hadn't intended on staying the night. But Weiss had insisted.

I head down to my car and notice a small pink piece of paper in the windshield. I curse thinking that it's a parking violation. It's too small though.

I take it out and unfold it. The words touch me and bring a tear to my eye.

-We'll find each other. We'll always find each other. Never forget that.-

Yours Always,

S


	3. christmas3

Author's Note: Thanks so much for the reviews! You guys make me want to keep going! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: You know the deal…

**Chapter 3**

I head home with a weight lifted off of my shoulders. For the first time in a long time I know exactly what I want and I'm going to do everything in my power to get it.

I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex and sit there for a long moment, the words of the note still captivating me. I take a deep breath and step out of the car and head into the building.

The doorman gives me a smile and I manage a small nod. My legs don't want to move and I have a sick feeling in my stomach. I know with all my heart that I'm doing the right thing, but that doesn't make it any easier. Breaking someone's heart, even if it's for your happiness, is still painful on both parties.

I reach my door and wait outside. I'm so close to chickening out, but then I pull Syd's note out and a new found confidence washes over me. With a heavy hand but a not so heavy heart I open the door.

"Where have you been!" Lauren practically screams at me. "I've been worried sick about you! I called your cell phone 10 times and got no answer."

"I'm sorry, I should've called. Weiss insisted I stay over, I really wasn't in any shape to be driving home."

"So, you get totally wasted and don't even have the decency to phone me?"

I look down at the ground.

"God Michael," she says rubbing a hand over her face, "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but I'm not sure I can put up with this behavior much longer."

She looks at me and I know that she is expecting me to apologize and take her into my arms…not this time.

"Lauren," I say softly, "We need to talk."

Her eyes widened as I motioned for her to sit down on the couch next to me. I let out a long sigh as I try to figure out the best way to say what I need to say.

"Lauren…"

"Michael."

I sit there a moment longer. "I really don't know how to say this to you."

"Say what?" she asks, and I can detect a hint of anger in her voice.

"That this isn't working."

She looks taken aback, like she hadn't actually expected me to say it. "What do you mean?"

"Come on Lauren. You can't be blind to the fact that things haven't been going well with us for some time."

"Ever since she came back."

I feel the anger rising inside me, but I remain calm. "It was long before that."

"What?"

"Sydney coming back is not the only reason for our problems."

"But it's the main one!" she says angrily as she abruptly rises, "I could never compete with her, could I? She's perfect in your mind and no one will ever be good enough."

"This is all my fault, Lauren."

"You're damn right it is," she yells as tears begin to glisten in her eyes. "I've worked so hard at making this marriage work, and you've done nothing!"

"Do you not think I've tried to make it work?" I ask unable to contain my anger.

"Honestly, no I don't."

"You know that's not true. I distanced myself so far from Sydney to make things work with you, that it nearly killed her. Do you understand that? I was willing to sacrifice her happiness and mine to make you happy." I pause, "I'm not willing to do that anymore."

"So you're ending things?"

"This isn't a surprise. In fact it's been a long time coming."

She sits down again and speaks quietly, "I always thought we could make it work."

I sigh, "So did I. But this isn't fair to either of us. You deserve better, someone who loves you with all of their heart. And I deserve to be happy," I think about that for a minute and smile. "I know it may sound selfish, but I really do deserve to be happy."

"And being with Sydney will make you happy?"

"Absolutely," I answer without hesitation.

She nods. "I guess that's it then."

"Lauren..."

She interrupts, "Michael, you're right. I do deserve better."

The words sting but she's right. "I never meant to hurt you."

She manages a tight forced smile, "I know you didn't."

We sit in an awkward silence for a moment. "I guess I should grab some things and see if I can crash at Eric's."

"That would be for the best."

I get up and pack a few necessities, and head back into the living room. Lauren is sitting where I left here staring off into space.

"Are you going to be ok?"

She gets up. "Yeah, things are going to be fine."

I give her a small hug. "I'll be in touch."

"Just let me know what I need to do to get this finalized as soon as possible."

I nod and exit the apartment. I get to my car and sit in the driver's seat for a moment. I do hate that I hurt her, but it's about time that I start thinking about me.

I drive over to Weiss' and remember that I forgot to call him. I don't worry about it though, I'm sure he won't have a problem with me crashing on his couch for a bit until I can get things sorted out.

I walk up the steps and knock on Weiss' door. It takes a minute for him to answer.

"Whoa, Mike…back already?"

"Umm, yeah. Did I wake you?"

"Nah, come in." He notices the suitcase. "Alright, what's with the suitcase?"

"Lauren and I have decided to get a divorce."

He looks at me with his mouth hanging open for a moment, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. We talked this morning and decided it would be for the best."

"Geez man. I don't know what to say. Is this what you want?"

"Definitely."

"Then, congrats…even though it sounds weird to be congratulating someone on getting divorced."

I chuckle.

"Does Syd know?"

"Not yet, and don't tell her. I want to do it myself, and in person."

Weiss nods. "Well, I guess the suitcase means you assumed you could crash at my place."

"Weiss…"

"No, no. It's ok. I mean, I was supposed to have some hot chick over tonight, but whatever, you can stay."

I grin. "Thanks."

"So, how are you going to tell Syd?"

"I have something in mind."

I finally woke up after sleeping for what seemed like forever. Feeling extremely lazy and unproductive I decided that a run was in order.

I changed into my jogging gear, grabbed my mp3 player and headed out of my apartment. I was almost halfway to the stairs when I turned around because something had caught my eye.

A small piece of paper had fallen from the door onto the ground. I picked it up and opened it.

-Meet me at the pier. Seven o'clock. Tonight-

I recognized the writing instantly, and opted out of my run.

I collapse on my couch with my heart beating faster and faster. I'm not sure exactly what this means.

It was either going to be something good or bad…

…I was praying for the former.


	4. christmas4

Author's Note: Thanks so much for the reviews! Keep them coming!

Seven o'clock was nearing, and I had no idea what to do or expect. I knew I needed to go to the pier. Even if he was going to tell me that he was going to stay with Lauren, I had to hear it.

What do you wear for an occasion like this? I wasn't sure to dress up in the hopes that it was good news or to just wear the same old same old. I sighed. I decided on jeans and a shirt…that would have to do.

I paced around Weiss' apartment.

"Dude! Will you sit still? You're driving me crazy."

"Sorry. I'm just really nervous."

"How are you going to handle it?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I guess I'm just hoping that I'll see her and everything will come out."

"Maybe you should get her flowers. Chicks dig flowers."

I rolled my eyes. "That seems so cliché. Plus, who knows what her reaction will be. I don't want to be standing there like some idiot with flowers if she rejects me."

"She won't reject you, man."

"I wouldn't blame her if she did. After all the hurt I put her through."

"Sure, it may not be easy, but she loves you."

"I hope so."

I let out a huge sigh as I walked down the stairs of the apartments. I had decided to walk. It was a really nice night, and I needed to clear my head before facing Vaughn.

The pier was less than a mile away and it didn't take me anytime to get there. I slowed my pace to survey the scene. I saw Vaughn hunched over the railing staring out into the ocean.

I followed his gaze. It was twilight and the stars and almost set sun were glistening on the water. It was beautiful, and I couldn't help thinking that he wouldn't choose such a perfect time and place to give me bad news.

I took a deep breath and walked to the pier and to Vaughn's side. We stood there in silence, and for a moment I thought maybe he didn't even realize I was beside him. Everything was too quiet, and it would've been peaceful except for the fact that I felt sick to my stomach with worry.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

He looked up surprised, "What?"

"The sky on the water. It's beautiful."

Vaughn nodded, "It really is."

Vaughn looked back out to the water as if he was searching for the words to say.

I felt a sinking feeling in my chest, assuming that it was for the worst. "Vaughn, it's ok, just get it out."

He looked startled but then nodded. "I was trying to think of the perfect way to say this to you, but I think I should just do it."

I felt tears well up in my eyes as I focused my attention back out to the water.

"Lauren and I are getting a divorce."

"Wh-What?"

He studied my face, and brushed his thumb across my cheek. "Oh Syd."

I blinked harder and wiped my eyes not allowing the tears to come out. "I wasn't expecting that."

"It's always been you."

If my heart had control of my body then that's the point where I would've kissed him all over…but over the past year my brain has taken over once again.

"And so now you decide to tell me that, after it becomes convenient for you?"

Vaughn took a step back; obviously expecting me to do exactly what my heart wanted me to do.

"Well, I couldn't really tell you it while I was married."

"Do you not understand how hard this has been for me?"

"Syd…"

"No. Listen, Vaughn. There are some things I have to say before we can ever even think about being us again."

Vaughn nodded sadly, but looked somewhat hopeful at the mention of us.

"You have to understand what you being with Lauren did to me. It nearly killed me Vaughn. You were the most important person in my life and then suddenly you were gone."

Vaughn continued looking at me, as I searched for the point I was trying to make.

"I just need you to know, that my heart won't allow it's self to be broken in that way again. I need to know that I'm not just some rebound for your failed marriage."

That's when he took me in his arms and held me close.

"Oh Sydney," he murmured as he stroked my hair.

And that was it; I couldn't hold back my emotions anymore. Like I had so long ago in his presence I broke down.

I couldn't remember the last time I had cried like this, if ever. My body shook from the force of my sobs.

Vaughn held me closer and planted a few gentle kisses along my hairline.

"You will never just be some rebound," he whispered. "I am so sorry I caused you pain. I would never have married Lauren if I had known…"

I lifted my head to look at him, and saw the tears forming in his own eyes. At that moment that meant more to me than any words could. His tears showed that he really did care.

"I love you, Syd. God, I love you."

I searched his eyes. "I love you, Vaughn. I love you so much."

He looked hesitant for a moment as he leaned down achingly slow to kiss me. But when our lips met all hesitation was gone. It was as if no time at all had passed. Our lips knew exactly what to do.

The kiss never got overly passionate. There would be time for all of that later. For now our lips were reintroducing themselves; slowly, delicately. My hands found their way up to his neck as I gently caressed it. His hands wrapped around my waist pulling me closer.

Ever so slowly Vaughn pulled away but kept his arms tightly around me waist.

"You are so beautiful."

I pulled away slightly, and pulled a crumpled up piece of paper from my pocket.

"I wrote you a note," I said slyly.

Vaughn smiled as he took it from me and unfolded it.

-Wherever our paths may take us, I will always love you.-

He looked confused. "Did you have another note written?"

"No."

"How did you know that I was going to say what I said?"

I studied him for a minute, "I didn't. I guess I was just hoping for the best, but if not, the note would still apply."

Vaughn brushed a stray tear away from my eye. "Wherever your paths take you, I'll be there, Syd. You don't ever have to be alone again."

And with that our lips found each other again.


	5. christmas5

Author's Note: Hope you guys like it!

We stayed like that for some time. Kissing and hugging, just taking each other in. Reluctantly though we both pulled away.

Vaughn cleared his throat, "We should probably be heading back."

I nodded, "It is getting a little chilly out."

He rubbed my shoulders. "Did you walk here?"

"Yeah, it was too pretty out to drive."

"That's what I thought too.

He placed his hand on the small of my back gently leading me off of the pier and onto the sidewalk.

We walked in silence, as I replayed the events of the evening over and over in my head. I was afraid that if I didn't keep telling myself what happened then I would wake up and it would all be a dream.

"What are you thinking about?"

"This," I answered as I moved a little closer to him.

We arrived back to the apartments in no time, much to my disappointment. The silence was nice with him.

He leaned down and brushed his lips against my own. "I'll talk to you tomorrow…"

"Vaughn, do you want to come in?" I asked quickly before he could finish.

A smile spread across his face. "I'd love to come in."

I unlocked the door and we entered. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Sure. I'll have whatever you're having."

"Make yourself comfortable," I said as I head into the kitchen. I pour us each a glass of wine and peek my head out to see what Vaughn is doing.

He's slowly walking around the apartment taking everything in. That's when I remember that he's never been here before.

"Here you go," I say as I hand him his wine glass.

"Thanks," he said as he looked around the apartment some more. "I really like your apartment Syd, it suits you."

I smile as I look around. "It does, doesn't it? I can't take all the credit though. Weiss helped me out…a lot."

Vaughn looks away pained. "Weiss was really there for you wasn't he?"

"Yeah, he really was."

"Syd, I can't tell you how sorry I am. More than anything I wanted to be there for you."

"I know. The situation just didn't allow it."

He nodded, and I could sense the mood of the evening shifting. I didn't want that. The evening's events turned out so well, and I wanted to end everything on a positive note.

"Do you remember when you took me to the hockey rink?"

Vaughn chuckled. "I remember you showing me up."

I grinned. "It was all beginners luck."

"Psh…there was no way that was beginners luck."

I moved closer to Vaughn on the couch, and he snaked his arm around my shoulder.

I took a sip of wine. "I missed you."

He pulled me closer. "You have no idea how much I missed you too, Syd.

We stayed like that for some time, with the candles making shadows dance on the walls.

I could sense her breathing get heavier, and when I looked down I could see she was asleep. I was in a rather awkward position with a wine glass in one hand and the other arm wrapped around Syd.

Very carefully, and smoothly, I might add I was able to free myself without waking the beautiful creature next to me.

I tip toed about and blew out all the candles, then I made my way back to her and covered her up with a blanket that had been on top of the couch. I planted a kiss on her forehead; made sure everything around was in order and then silently made my way out of her apartment and back over to Weiss'.

Weiss was waiting up for me. "How'd it go?" he asked the moment he heard the doorknob turn.

"It went well."

"It went well! That's hardly a ringing endorsement."

"Of course it didn't just go well…it went fantastic."

Weiss broke out into a grin. "Really?"

"Definitely."

"Details, man. Geez."

I chuckled. "There's not much to tell I suppose. We met at the pier. I told her Lauren and I were getting a divorce, she was expecting me to say something different and was relieved. Then she kinda let me have it, for good reason. We talked and then went back to her place for a bit."

"Ohhh…back to her place."

"Shut up. We just talked and sat there with each other. It was awesome."

"So, what's going to happen with you guys?"

I sighed. "Well it's obvious we still love each other…I mean we said it, and things seem to be moving along."

"But?"

"But I really hurt her, and I realize that we're going to have to feel things out before we can really be a couple again."

Weiss nodded. "Definitely understandable. Don't worry man. She loves you, she's just afraid of losing you again."

"I know."

He yawned. "Alright, now that I've got my gossip for the evening I'm going to bed."

"I'm not far behind you. I just need to run back to Syd's and lock her apartment up. She fell asleep on the couch."

"Her key is the second one on the key rack," he mumbled as he retreated to his room.

I grabbed the key and went over to lock up. I went inside though to make sure she was still asleep. She was and she looked so peaceful. I readjusted her blanket, made sure everything was in place and then head out and locked up.

I woke up feeling extremely uncomfortable. I groaned as I stretched. It took me a minute to figure out exactly where I was. Then it hit me. I must've fallen asleep on the couch.

I looked at the clock, it was glaring 3:47 at me. I rubbed my eyes a couple times and got up to head to my own room.

I quickly folded the blanket, and was putting it back on the back of my couch when a slip of paper fell from it.

I smiled at our secret correspondence…knowing full well that it was from Vaughn.

I sat back down on the couch and opened the note up.

-Slumber, my darling, the birds are at rest

The wandering dews by the flow'rs are caressed

Slumber, my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm

And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm

Goodnight Syd.-

My smile continued as I made my way to my bed.


	6. christmas6

Author's Note: Enjoy and read and review!

I woke up around seven much to my displeasure…that was way too early. Not wanting to get up I remained in bed staring at the ceiling, and against my better judgment, I started to think.

I loved Vaughn that was obvious. I always had, and knew that I probably always would. And I knew he loved me. I knew a part of him had always loved me, even when he was with Lauren.

Yet, I still wasn't sure about our relationship. I didn't want to take things too slow, because I did want him. But then again, I didn't want things to move too quickly either. His divorce wasn't finalized, he and Lauren hadn't signed any papers yet. And I worried that taking things too fast would do more harm than good. This wasn't a situation that warranted rushing into anything.

I sighed. It should be easy. We love each other and care about each other. I guess I just didn't want to screw this up. I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted our love to last forever.

I just didn't know how to tell Vaughn. After last night I'm sure he thought that I was ready to rush into a relationship with him. And part of me was, but another part of me was holding back. I didn't want to hurt Vaughn by telling him my fears, but then again by not telling him I'd probably be hurting him more.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was nearing eight. I needed to talk to Vaughn now, so I called his cell. He picked up on the third ring.

"Vaughn," he answered groggily.

"Hey."

"Syd?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Is everything ok?" he asked and I could hear the concern in his voice.

"Everything's fine. I was just hoping that we could talk."

"Umm…sure. Does lunch sound good?"

"Actually I was hoping we could get together now."

There was a pause. "Uh, yeah, sure. Give me thirty minutes."

"I'll see you then."

And with that we hung up.

I stumbled into the kitchen to grab coffee before I even began to analyze what Syd's phone call meant.

"We need to set up a rule," Weiss greeted me grumpily.

"Huh?"

"Your phone man. Geez, could you turn it on vibrate or at least turn it down while we're supposed to be sleeping. I swear, that thing went off and the whole apartment shook."

"It's not that loud."

"It woke me up! And I sleep like a horse," he paused for a second, "That is if horses sleep heavy."

"Sorry. I'll turn the ringer down."

"Good. Who was calling you so early anyways?"

"Syd."

"Why?"

I sighed. "I'm not sure."

Weiss studied me. "I thought everything went well last night. You were like glowing. And I've never seen a man glow before."

"I thought the same thing. I thought she had gotten everything out and we were going to be able to move forward with our relationship."

"You don't think she's having second thoughts, do you?"

I thought for a split second and then answered honestly. "No. I really don't. I just think that it's going to be a longer road than either of us really realized or wanted to believe."

I looked at the clock. "I need head over there in about ten minutes, I better put some clothes on."

"Nah," Weiss joked. "Just show up like that and all her doubts will fly out the window."

I rolled my eyes, and headed back to my room.

I paced nervously around my apartment. I had no idea what I was going to say to Vaughn. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.

I jumped at the knock at my door. I walked over, took a deep breath and opened it.


	7. christmas7

Author's Note: I hope you guys are liking it…let me know what you think!

"Hey Syd," Vaughn said as he looked nervous.

I looked at him for a moment and every fear, every doubt was swept away. In his eyes I saw only love.

I took him in my arms and kissed him hard on the lips.

After a minute Vaughn pulled away stunned. "I thought you had some bad news."

"I thought so too."

He looked at me.

"Vaughn I really was worried about taking things too fast and rushing this, when your divorce hasn't even been finalized. But seeing you here, I know I love you. And I don't want to waste another moment of my life without you in it."

He smiled. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know. And I'm not just saying this because I'm chickening out. I know we have a long road ahead of us. And it may not be easy, but I'm willing to give it a shot and work hard to make it work. But why dwell on all the things that can go wrong, or all the reasons why we should take it slow?"

"I couldn't agree more."

We stood their smiling, when Vaughn broke the silence. "I wrote you something, since it's kinda a tradition now."

I grinned, "What does it say?"

He handed it to me.

-Thank you.-

I looked at him puzzled. "What does that mean?"

"It means everything."

I leaned in and kissed him again.

He broke away and cleared his throat. "You have no idea how worried I was."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"You had to know that I wasn't going to put an end to it though."

"I knew that. I just wasn't sure what you wanted."

"I want you," I said honestly.

"What were you going to say though?"

I thought for a minute. "I guess the fact that I was just worried. We haven't been a couple for so long, and honestly I was worried about moving too fast and it being overwhelming. And I was afraid that we'd rush into it just because we haven't been together and by rushing we'd ruin it."

Vaughn gave this some thought. "Syd, I would never do anything to ruin this. You mean more to me than anything," he paused, "And I don't think we should rush, we should savor every moment."

I smiled. "We should."

Vaughn grinned. "Definitely."

"Well how do you suppose we start this?"

"I was thinking about dinner tonight, around 7."

"Dinner sounds great."

He smiled. "Pick you up around 6:30."

I smiled back. "I can't wait."

"I've got to go take care of some things, but I'll see you later."

I nodded, and he gave me a hug and a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I love you."

I looked up at him, "And I love you."


End file.
